Humans like to follow. We follow leaders and organizations. It gives us security, confidence and makes us feel part of something bigger and better.
Church is like that. Christians associate with a church and see a particular church and its leader as his or her leader. Not a horrible thing, but it takes us away from the source.
The church leader becomes the pipeline into Jesus. As the church leader frames his picture of God, that is how we see God. And then we even judge other Christians and churches and certainly those who don't appear to know God by how they match up with the church leader's picture of God.
Church is important. Church leaders are important. And the church is vital in the world. But our leader is Jesus, not the church leader's agenda or program.
God will guide you as you seek him. It's called life. The ups and downs you experience are God guiding you and teaching you. Hold tight, trust and enjoy the ride.